i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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