I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
