I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
