Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Randomize
