Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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