You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
