My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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