Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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