I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
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