her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
