come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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