BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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