Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
