i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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