ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
