i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
