and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
