My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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