Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
