The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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