On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
