Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
