so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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