brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
