I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
