So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
