Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
