Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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