you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
