I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
