Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Randomize
