i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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