Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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