so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
