literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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