Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
