Kiss
Puke
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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