After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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