..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
