I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
