You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
