I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
