Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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