Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I met the friendliest cop last night
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Randomize
