it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
