Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
