Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
