His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
