She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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