Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
