Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
