what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
