I puked a lego.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
