It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
