my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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